Top Menu

Men, be a man again to become a better lover and more attractive to women

Want to be a better lover? Be a man!

Men, be a man again. It will make you a better lover. And if not that directly: it will make you more attractive. So that’s the easy part. Now the hard part comes: what is a real man? I think there are women’s blogs and magazines full of definitions. What I don’t mean with a real man is wearing white tennis socks, having big sweat patches underneath your arms in the shirt you have been wearing for three days, getting drunk at night and smoking rollies (hand rolled cigarettes). So what do I mean? And how does being a man make you a better lover and more attractive?

Let’s get technical for just a bit. To understand why you have to be a man (again) we have to take a look at our brain. I didn’t pick this picture for nothing. It will also give you the answer why so many women find bad guys more attractive than nice guys. Believe me; this is a fact; proven by research. You have something that is called a reptilian brain. This is the most ancient of all the brains (brain parts) you have. This brain represents a fundamental core of the nervous system and derives from a form of mammal-like reptile that once ranged widely over the world. All modern mammals have this reptilian complex. We humans are no exception.

Sex drive

This reptilian brain is your prime mover. Now you can think you’re very sophisticated, but deep underneath you’re still an animal. And the good news is – well that’s what I think – you can let this animal loose again. So what does this part of your brain do? It makes sure you protect your territory, it gives you will power, it makes sure you’re safe and it handles your sex drive.

 A few examples will make it easier. Not so very long ago I walked into a yoga school to teach for a while. The school had two, not very experienced yoga teachers. I’ve been teaching at a lot of places and one thing I always love is how teachers share their knowledge together. Helping each other grow. This time it was totally the opposite. I have never felt so unwelcome as a yoga teacher in my whole teaching life. Two reptile brains sensed that somebody ‘invaded’ their territory and acted accordingly. For me it was a new experience, but my friend Rachel – one of the best yoga teachers I ever came across – never mentions that she is a yoga teacher when she does a class somewhere where she is travelling. Seemingly too many teachers act primary as well and are afraid she will take over their job. Even when she mentions she is ‘on the road’ and just doing a class.

The reptilian brain drives us sexually as well. You have to think really primitive for this. If you are a guy, imagine a girl with bright, red lips. How many of you think of a blow job when you see it? Where do you think all these Botox filled lips come from? It’s a primal force within us.

Being a man

So let’s talk about being a man. We’re hunters. Protectors. It’s in our reptilian brain. Women like to be protected. Yes. It’s 2016. Women can take care of themselves. I know. But deep inside, deep inside their reptilian brain they are still looking for a man that can protect them. Take care of them. A strong man. A powerful man. The survivor of the fittest. That’s why bad guys do so well. They look strong.

Feminism has lead to conflicts in the brains of women. They have to be strong and take care of themselves. They have to be independent, but deep inside their reptile brain is still looking for a strong man. I got an email from a girl who start to loose interest in her boy friend. Why? He has no job. She is taking care of him. Financially. She doesn’t know why she has lost her sexual appetite for him. Well here you go: reptilian brain.


And what has society done with us men? A lot of us have become sissies. Weak couch potatoes. I met a Swedish girl who – when we went out one night – was surprised I was quicker dressed than she was. According to her Swedish boys take ages to do their hair. Once robust vikings, now guys that have to have their hair perfect. Let’s be a man again. Let’s be strong guys again. Sober. Robust. Let’s do some power yoga to get in shape again and let’s toughen up again.

No, I’m not talking about being an asshole. Sensitive is good. Using your brain is good. Talking about feelings is good. Being a gentle man is good. But be man. Be strong. Don’t be a sissy. Why do you think girls prefer to watch rugby deep inside instead of football? Rugby players are men. Football players are sissies who just roll over the field after being tackled. Screaming for their mummy.

Better lover

So why does being a man make you a better lover? Technically it doesn’t. But again: it’s all in the brain. It’s like food: a meal that looks nice, tastes better. No girl want to make love with a whining baby, but they do with a real man.

Like these blogs? Subscribe to the mailing list:

* indicates required

2 Responses to Want to be a better lover? Be a man!

  1. Avatar
    Lois 17 June 2016 at 13:29 #

    Hmmmm. Pretty interesting! I’ll have to try and find a rugby game to watch now.

  2. Avatar
    John Kraijenbrink 17 June 2016 at 13:45 #

    🙂 Try the All Blacks; the New Zealand rugby team. When I was in New Zealand years ago I think those guys were the main reason my girlfriend (in those days) wanted to watch rugby.