Well, what do you know! I stumbled upon a blog about a man’s (John) experiences with Tinder. Like a real woman, I (Pia) can’t help but respond to his findings..
Tinder is a great way to kill time. Swipe some images, have a pleasant conversation every now and then (if you’re lucky) and, if you’re luckier a nice date might come out of it. However, separating the wheat from the chaff is a tall order indeed.
First of all, you have to wade through all the I-get-really-horny-looking-at-my-own-muscles-type of pictures. I really like it if a picture shows more than a good body or a serious selfie taken in front of a bathroom mirror because your hairdo is so great that day.
Also, the stiff willy pics are not my cup of tea. (Well, at least it was obvious what that particular Tinder male was looking for!)
Willy shots aside, there are still a lot of ambiguities on both sides of the “Like” button.
For instance, why show group pictures with no indication of who’s who? So we can pick the bloke we want? And what’s with the pictures that show you with kids or babies? Did you post these pictures with the aim of making us go “awww” the way pictures of puppies and kittens do, but you had an easier time finding the kid/baby?
It is a well known fact that men generally don’t use quite as many words as women do (besides in this TinderJohn vs TinderPia blog ;)) But if you don’t put in any details about yourself and your likes and dislikes, it’s a bit hard to tell whether we have something in common. The seemingly random quotes of wisdom are also really helpful in that regard..not! Descriptions that go with pictures can be really useful, though. Case in point, there was a Tinder male who had a picture of himself in front of a window. Wondering what that picture was meant to draw attention to, I found myself staring at his strangely-shaped bum. Maybe he meant to show off the window or something..
Let’s see, are there any other pictures that come to mind… nope. However, I did come across a description that was as unambigious as possible: “I really like to wear nappies.”
I will always regret not pressing the “heart” icon on that one, because it could’ve lead to an interesting conversation indeed.
But then there are those times when you do press the “heart” icon . You have to wait an entire second (that feels like forever) to find out if there will be a match or not.
“Hi,” Is the most common way to start a conversation on Tinder. I prefer a little bit more individuality. Then there is the fact that a lot of men just wait for you to initiate the conversation. I’ve also had it happen to me that men only communicate by giggling at everything you say (am I that funny?). Worst of all are the one-sided interviews where they’ll respond to questions that you ask, but they seemingly can’t be bothered to ask you any questions in return.
When it comes to their love life on Tinder, men are just as efficient as when they go out to buy a new pair of jeans. Unfortunately, that keeps conversations rather plain.
Tinder male A: “Hi. I see you are 30-something. Do you want children?”
Me: “Yes I am. Children? Hopefully one day, if I find the right person.”
Tinder male A: “Same here. Shall we meet?”
No, that wasn’t a joke. And yes, that was the only text we exchanged.
The “scan, pack or get out” mentality is a little bit difficult for me when it is about people.
Tinder male B: “…Look, there it is, the perfect answer I was waiting for all these weeks. What is your height?”
Me: “1.79 m”
Tinder male B: “Oh. Ok. That is not perfect. Goodbye.”
And that is why my height is now part of my profile on Tinder.
John, you argued it was the ladies that make things difficult and I argued that men are the problem, but if we compare our experiences, maybe it is more human nature in general. Or is it that single people above a certain age just want things binary: either sex or a very serious relationship? And don’t want to spend too much time looking for it? Is Tinder the fast food of today’s love life? Are we a product of our time with the “scan, pack or get out” behavior? Did we miss an update somewhere?
You can find me on: Pia van den Berg.