A few people asked me lately: are you never lonely? You’re almost always on the road; going from one place to another on your own. To be honest: I’m never lonely, or…
A couple of days ago Emma Jane sent me a quote of Osho. I think he describes it the best; as Osho usually did:
The capacity to be alone, is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth. Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
It has been a long, long journey, but thanks to yoga (the whole of yoga, not only poses) I am for a while on the point that I’m never lonely. I’m happy being on my own, doing my yoga, meditating, doing my pranayama (breathing exercises), seeing the world, writing this blog. I can do this for days, weeks, months, without feeling lonely.
And I’m happy connecting. Connecting with all the beautiful people around me, without needing them to feel happy. I live in the moment and love living in it. I flew out to India. Walking out the plane in Muscat (Oman) for my stopover I started a conversation with the Scottish girl who had been sitting in front of me. The next five hours we spent together on the airport; talking about yoga (she was on her way for a yoga teacher training in Rishikesh), watching a movie, giving a little massage to conquer all those hours being tucked away in a chair. Time went by quickly and before we knew it she had to catch her flight to Delhi and I had to catch mine to Goa.
She walked in my life, we connected for a few hours and she walked out of it again. The same way my ‘old friends’ were back in my life when I was back in the Netherlands for four months. The same way the people her in India came back into my life, after I haven’t been here for three years. People come and go. I love them, cherish the moments together, but I’m not depending on them for my happiness. I’ve got friends all over the world by now. It’s always good to see them back, but I do understand their life is going the way it’s going. Some I don’t see back, new friends come in place. It’s the way life goes. Clinging on to friendships doesn’t work. Neither does needing friends and loved ones to make me happy. If that would be the case it just means I have some more work to do to learn and love myself.
It doesn’t say I never think of my friends. I do. Simple because I love sharing. The first thing I did after arriving in Agonda (and after my little snooze) was walking into the ocean. Playing with the waves. Laying there, looking at the beach, the palm trees, the cows walking on the beach I wanted my friends to be there. Not because I miss them, but because I like them to experience this as well. The freedom, the beauty of Goa, the beauty of Agonda and this feeling of truly, truly being alive. Far away from nine to five jobs, from mortgages, traffic jams and demanding bosses, but simple being in a warm ocean of love, in paradise and feel from the crown of your head to the tops of your toes that you are truly, truly living.