The night coloured black above the Granada sky. Slowly it cooled down a bit. We had been up that roof terrace for ages. Seven of us. Drinking, laughing. Two left, one more and finally two more. Now it was just her and me. Her back had found support against my chest. Her skin, warm from the evening sun, glowing against mine. She massaged my hand, finding all the painful spots from to many acro yoga sessions. My fingers played with her hair, my lips found a naked shoulder and honoured it. Finally we were alone. Two bodies enjoying each other’s company, two pair of hands out to discover something new, two people knowing they had to go to bed, because of an early start the next day, but not wanting. Two hearts opening, shining in a dark night.
I’m on the road again. Back in a hostel life, moving from city to city, teaching yoga workshops, classes and privates. I love being on the road, meeting new people, getting inspired, sharing my knowledge and learning new things.
Back in hostels means also back in the party scene. Back to waking up in the middle of the night, when (drunk) travellers come home, waking up in the middle of the night, because next door two people are loudly entangled in making love.
I’m a sucker for a hug. Three – I’m Dutch, we do three – kisses on the cheek or a firm hand, given with half a meter distance in between two people is for me no way to say hello or goodbye to friends. A big hug is. I believe in body contact, in the healing power of it, in the energy of it. In healing hands. Maybe that’s why I’m, next to a yoga teacher, a massage therapist.
And I admit, I don’t only like a hug, I also like a warm body, full of love against mine. I love skin on skin contact with a beautiful girl, being close, sharing each other’s energy.
But there is a big difference between sharing energy like that and making the next step: sharing the bed together. Being back in hostels I see how easily it goes, how easily two people meet and share the night. I also hear the conversations with their friends next day and often it was sex just because of the sex. I don’t judge; if that’s what makes them happy, that’s what they should do. If two people find each other in a need, in a passion and want to share, they should share.
For me that’s a step too far. For me there is a big but. If we hug, we share energy, if we kiss, we share even more energy, but if we make the next step, if we penetrate, having sex, our energies melt together. Our energies flow over in each other. We literally penetrate each other’s aura, each other’s energy system. For me, that’s a big thing. I’m doing my yoga to get rid of old garbage, old emotions, old memories that created negative neuro linguistic bridges in my mind. I’m working hard by doing my asanas, by doing my pranayama exercises, my meditating; to become pure. I’m a tantric yogi, I believe in the power of making love, but I don’t want to have just any energy in my system, the emotions of just any other being in my system. I don’t want to sleep with somebody for the sake of sleeping with somebody, while I actually don’t like or love that person, while the energy of that person doesn’t fit mine, while I actually think that person has a negative, maybe even moaning, draining energy. Because by doing that, I will pollute my own energy, my own aura. This is the big energetic danger of having sex with just anybody: we will get their energy in our system, their emotions. I choose to keep my energy clean. I choose to be selective with the energies I want to get in my system. I choose to unite only with energies that will make me grow as a spirit, as a soul. I hope you do too.